Why We Pick Difficult Partners

In theory, we're nowadays allowed to get together with pretty much anyone we like. And yet, at a psychological level, we aren't free to love just any suitable person. We have a type - and strangely and awkwardly, these types are often not those who stand a chance of making us maximally happy. For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop:
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“Theoretically we are free to select the kind of person we love. We might have chosen someone else. We’re not being forced into this by social convention or match-making aunts or dynastic imperatives. But in reality our choice is probably a lot less free than we imagine. Some very real constraints around whom we can love and feel properly attracted to come from a place we might not think to look: our childhoods. Our psychological history strongly predisposes us to fall for only certain types of people…”
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Produced in collaboration with:
Alexandra Balan
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