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Once upon a time, The Bearded Man had an idea. He noticed that although the days were plenty long enough in the summer, they were far too short in the winter. This was way back, thousands of years ago, before people had any concept of the solar system or astronomy. This was when people believed that a variety of gods were responsible for everything. For our hero, getting more sunshine in the winter was as simple as finding the responsible god and just stealing the sunshine from him. Seriously, how hard could that be? He began his quest as we often do, by looking through the phonebook. Sure enough, he found the address of the god responsible for sunshine. He went to the address in the moonlight, picked up a rock, and proceeded to smash a window. Sure enough, sitting out in the open in the living room - not even in a safe mind you - was the sunshine. If you happen to know anything at all about the god who was responsible for sunshine back in those days, you would know that he was a mighty fast runner. Obviously smashing a window set off the alarm in this guy’s house. Our hero looked up and saw the angry god staring back at him. He grabbed the sunshine and ran for his life with the god running right behind him in the moonlight. TBM genuinely believed that he was faster. The trouble was, he soon tripped over a rock and dropped the sunshine, shattering it into a million pieces. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why nowadays there's barely any sunshine in the winter in the Netherlands at all. So much for trying to be a hero.
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