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The corset of one of the girls was killing her. Still, she waited in the sweltering summer heat for what would surely be the battle of the century. Everyone was present in the audience, from foppish dandies to blue-blooded royalty. All were eagerly awaiting the battle that would once and for all settle who was the greatest DJ (or “composer” as they used to call them back in the day) - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart or The Bearded Adiemus Man. Mozart was a young whizkid, kind of like Avicii let’s say. The Bearded Man was scruffy, but he knew his way around a powdered wig. Mozart went first. He played with a fury of pop melodies so catchy Max Martin would have screamed in approval. It was obviously a labour of love of the most magnificent kind. After thunderous applause, it was now The Bearded Man’s turn. He couldn’t play a single instrument, it was true. But he started his set by blasting some confetti cannons onto the crowd, followed by a couple free t-shirts, and then he stage dove onto the front row of groupies. Before he jumped, he warned them with a yell, saying “1,2,3 JUMP!” The Bearded Man didn’t play any music at all, but damn, his stage presence was IN*SANE* BRO!!! The ladies went nuts, and let’s just say that more than a few petticoats hit the floor that night. The Bearded Man: 1, Mozart: 0. And don’t you ever forget it!
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